Rekindle the Spark

I want... To know that I am a beautiful person, and that my Heavenly Father loves me. To be a gorgeous, well conditioned, creative, and inspired dancer. To do well in school, so that it can be a real reflection of my greatest intellectual potential. To live the gospel more righteously, so that others will know about God through my actions. To know and be friends with all my ward members. To be on time, all the time. To do well in my job and always strive for excellent service and work. To fall in love and be loved back. To marry my best friend. To raise children with the man of my reality (not my dreams, because then he wont disappear when I wake up) that I will love for eternity. To have someone hold me at night when I fall asleep, and we could cuddle and I would feel safe in his arms. To be in the best health of my life, and be fit by eating the right foods in my diet. To exercise daily, and feel good about myself. To begin every day with a prayer and end every night with a prayer. ...

If I walk would you run If I stop would you come If I say you're the one would you believe me If I ask you to stay would you show me the way Tell me what to say so you don't leave me The world is catching up to you While your running away to chase your dream It's time for us to make a move cause we are asking one another to change And maybe I'm not ready But I'm trying for your love I can hide up above I will try for your love We've been hiding enough If I sing you a song would you sing along Or wait till I'm gone, oh how we push and pull If I give you my heart would you just play the part Or tell me it's the start of something beautiful Am I catching up to you While your running away, to chase your dreams It's time for us to face the truth cause we are coming to each other to change And maybe I'm not ready But I'm trying for your love I can hide up above I will try for your love We've been hiding enough I will try for your love I can hid...

The beginning of my composition piece. It's always a work in progress. And here is a video at about where I am during midterms (half way through the semester). And playing with music... And a final rough draft... But still not content with the music, and it's still a work in progress. Oh well, time's up. Stay tuned for the final performance! :)

Some nights... you just want to cry... and you don't know why... I'm going to the movies by myself...because I can't handle this anymore...

So, I'm sitting here at work...thinking...that I can't think of a time, when I'm not thinking...LOL. But yeah, first, I still have to post all those blogs about all my fun adventures that I've documented on my camera. And I'll try to get to that later today...if not definitely tomorrow. But on another note, I've been particularly thinking about how I'm getting OLD. Now, I know I'm not OLD as in ANCIENT...but my look is changing. It's interesting how as a little kid you're never really aware of how your physical look is actually evolving and aging and even maturing. But I feel like, when I look in the mirror now, I've seen physical changes in my appearance, that I just don't have any physical control over anymore. No make-up or clothing can change the fact that I have dark baggier undereyes than I did before, or that I'm just an older person now. And the cruel reality is that I certainly don't feel as pretty as I did last year. H...

Moving out can be a very stressful mess. But being the last roommate to move out, can be a person's worst nightmare. Let me see, it started out when I received a letter in the mail on August 4th stating that I needed to be out of the apartment by August 16th, which was a Sunday. Thinking I had plenty of time to move out, I noticed Vanessa moving out early because she was engaged and already moving things into her new house. Low and behold time snuck up on me, and it was became the move out week, unfortunately due to poor planning I had a full week of work scheduled as well. But I figured that I still had the whole weekend to move out. Big mistake! On the morning of August 14th, the Friday before I was suppose to be all moved out, REMS management slaps a note on the front door saying you have to be out by "August 14th," just as I was leaving the apt to go to a full night of work. I laughed...You can't put a note on someones door, and say you must be out by "...

Have you ever had a gloomy day in the office? It's raining and the window view of the gray stormy clouds can have the most subtle affect on your general mood bringing you slightly down in energy, and reflective at thought. As I left the office that one rainy evening during the summer season, I was doing some personal reflection, and things felt pretty lower than usual in my mood. But then I looked up into sky, and I felt a sense of relief and kindness, and a warm glow in my heart grew as I noticed a double rainbow smiling back at me. I'm not sure what it is about rainbows, but since my childhood rainbows have always cheered me up instantly. When people asked me what my favorite color was I always said "I love rainbows," and what my favorite ice cream was, "I love the rainbow ice cream" (which was really sherbet mix). Anyone who knows me, knows that I love dressing in bright colors too! For me rainbows give off a feeling of magic. I like to imagine that...