Rekindle the Spark

Things that I recognized during Christmas...It's sort of weird how things never always end up like we imagined.  Here I am, 30 years old, single, just graduating with my Bachelors in Dance from BYU...and finally, my whole immediate family has relocated to Utah.  So no more going home to California where I grew up for the first 18 years of my life.  Baby it's cold outside, and I'm dreaming of a white Christmas have now become realities.   My older sister has 5 children all of whom are just the cutest kids ever.  I currently work with people with disabilities and absolutely love it, I have been doing this work for the the last 5 years of my life, and I don't believe there is any other work I would rather be doing right now.  I mean, I am so grateful to be where I am today, but I am not sure I would have ever guessed that I would get here the way that I did.   Anyways, here is what I realized over Christmas break that made me smile and feel very blessed indeed: My father,

I don't know why I cycle back to this problem all the time.  I go a long time without praying, even though I have such a genuine understanding that prayer really works, and is a comforting experience of communication with my Heavenly Father.  I have no problem praying for group settings, the problem is just praying by myself.  It's the private prayer that I have trouble saying.  I don't want to say lazy, but I guess in a prideful manner, I don't find myself wanting to both The Lord with my problems.  However, the longer I go without prayer, the more pain I carry, and the more alone I feel.  It is not that prayer alone solves my problems.  Prayer gives me peace that my problems are not  eternal.  That I may feel alone, or scared, or disappointment, but that I have no need to fear.  That my Heavenly Father has eternal duties for me, and my duties here are in earth are minimal, short lived, and narrow viewed.  I like to think I have matured over the years, but the truth is