For most of my life, 3-30 years old, I was a dancer...and graduated from BYU as a Dance Major. I often have many people tell me, "How come you don't use your dance degree, and no longer dance? Or open an academy or studio?" It truly is a humbling question.
I guess, because I felt that dance no longer served its' purpose for me, as it used to. As much as I loved to dance, nearly 8 years ago I was introduced to working in the field of disabilities, in order to help pay for my university studies. And since then, to my amazement, I have stayed working in this field.
Working with disabilities, can be both challenging and rewarding. I never thought I would become a experienced professional in this field. But I realized, people with disabilities needed bright spirits, and smart people with great compassion to lead them, and work along side them. I found that I had a lot to offer to the people of this community, and in exchange, they had a lot to offer me in return.
But then again, one must remember, it was my passion for dance and finding the means to pay for my dance education, which is what started me on this journey. I can certainly say that my gift and passion for dance, is what lead me to discover my other gifts and talents in teaching and mentoring individuals who both work with and have disabilities of all kinds.
Working in this field has taught me things such as patience, courage, love, forgiveness, kindness, perseverance, humility and to be very hardworking and dedicated to my work, to name but a few. All of which I am very proud of and consider talents and gifts from my Heavenly Father above.
It's not that I won't have the love and passion to dance and teach anymore. I will always have that, and treasure the gift that dance is in my life. I appreciate the arts for all their majestic power to impact human emotion and creativity, and heal and nourish the human mind, body, and spirit. Dance has the ability to touch people's hearts and make them feel something uniquely special, unlike anything I have ever encountered before.
Whether or not I am actually dancing, I am always content in thinking that I have the liberty to pick up my gifts at any given time, in this life or the next, whenever I see fit. My mind works like a dancer, I view everything from the scope of a dancer. My mind clicks with amusement to creative problem solving techniques that I applied or learned in my dance studies, and I can see the human connection of dance in all the disabled individuals I work with.
A sweet girl with disabilities recently asked me, bluntly but kindly, "Do they let people who are big/larger dance at BYU? I didn't know people like you could dance."
I paused for a second, and responded, "No, not really. But I did have to audition to get into the dance program."
In my time at BYU, auditions were held once a year, annually, with only two chances for any given student to audition to enter the Dance Program. It took me 2 tries to get in. That was 2 years to even get in and start the Dance Program. I won't even state how long after that it actually took me to complete the major. I'll just laugh and say getting in was the easy part.
With over 100 auditioners each year and less than approximately 30 spots available for the program. It seriously may have been one of my greatest achievements, and even then I got into the Dance Program by the skin of my teeth, with a lot of hard work, and many prayers.
And even after working two years along side many friends who were hoping to get into the dance program at BYU, I watched people turned away from the Dance Program, to have their hopes and dreams broken. It became very disheartening and difficult at times. I had teachers wondering often how I even made it into the program? Continuously questioning my abilities, and having to repeatedly prove myself in class after class, that I deserved to be among my dance peers and deserved my spot in the Dance Department, it was a huge struggle and hardship. Some days, I would forget why I chose dance, because there were times where dance no longer was fun or enjoyable for me. I would have to find new hobbies to help me release the stress that dance became for me.
In the kindest ways, and bluntest, I had my professors always behind me, always pushing me to increase my health, nutrition, and exercise. That this is the life I signed up for. I was never a skinny Minnie, but even when I was in shape, I always thought I was fat. And in all my classes I was always the biggest one in the room. Trust me, for any contemporary dance major, improvisational weight bearing was always my least favorite day.
But still with all the hardship and sorrow that dance brought me, it also lit up my face to talk about. And when I danced, and performed I was always happiest! It truly brought me a joy like nothing else ever could. I was never God's gift to dance, it was His gift to me. I had to learn to respect the gift, and dedicate a huge part of me to it. In exchange, dance helped make me feel alive, happy, and blessed. I was always in competition with my self, to improve myself, and be a better person, and strive for more.
With all of life's twists and turns, I am truly grateful where I am today, and everything that I have learned from it. As much as dance is a part of my identity, it is not my sole purpose or goal in life. I have always wanted to be a great many things...a dancer, a teacher... but then also, a wife, and a mother. My two greatest goals in life are to be married, and to raise a family.
And I have not yet achieved those goals in life. And sometimes it can be sad, or hard to believe that it could ever happen. But then I remember, perhaps if I had already become a wife and a mother, I may not have had the opportunities to work with people with disabilities. And the thought of not meeting some of the sweetest faces on this earth, breaks my heart. I could have potentially missed out on all the blessings I have experienced from my work.
I do strongly exercise my faith that there is a special man out there in the world who wants similar things that I want in life, and who has a testimony of the eternal plan of happiness.
I pray that I will find him, and that together we can learn and grow to spread love and kindness in the world, and make the world a better place to live in. I have faith that if I do my part, God is bound to bless me with these great blessings.
I am Gio. I am a dancer, I work closely with people with disabilities, I love to smile, laugh, and seek out the things that bring us joy in this life. I hope to be a wife and mother someday...and I'm a Mormon.
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