Rekindle the Spark

I'm not really sure why the cold makes me feel so dark. I drive down the roads towards the freeway for work, and look at the world around me. The grass pale and ghostly, the weeping sunflowers blackened, and corn crops dry and white. The dusty snow melting on the side of the curb, with an eerie cold fog covering the horizon. The sun becomes darkened, with an overcast of skies, and mountain ranges covered by a sheet of cotton. A mist of greys sprinkle to the ground. Winter is such a miraculous season with the celebration of Jesus' birth. The new dawn of a New Year, while starting over again, renewed, or recommitted, a time so valued and cherished. But everywhere around me...I can't help but recognize the frost of death. Weird...I think. To see all the green and color go. For a portion of time, I suppose. Almost like we must embrace death and birth in all the same season. But more importantly, a new beginning. It may not be my favorite season, nonetheless...it p...

Dare to dream big... I don't know when it all began. Perhaps in my childhood. It was apparent. My independence. I was never a follower. I loved to talk. I would talk my way out of things. My imagination endless. My possessions priceless. My joy was endless. My laugh infectious. I dreamed of being a teacher. A teacher of things. A helper. An intellectual. My ambitions high. Reachable. Work hard, and see the fruits of your labor. But today...looking at the ground. Looking for the smallest green to sprout out of the ground. Proof of my labors. A tear drop. Waiting. Misery. Talking to myself. Hoping for sprout. Solitude. Have I placed my priorities in the wrong pursuits? Have I planted the wrong seed. Not bad seed. Wrong seed for my season. I've always claimed I'm a dreamer. Is the answer simpler than I allow myself to believe. Change my perspective. A young child. A young woman. A disillusioned adult. Wake up. It's not a dream. It's my world. My reality. I control it. ...

A kiss... A soft embrace of emotion. A sweet gift surrendered by the heart. The desire to explore a new surface of matter. To connect to another person whom you admire. The guilty excuse of fatal laws of attraction. A hope for a genuine connection of devotion. A momentary lapse of impulse or spontanuity. A chemical combination, that pulls two people together. A step of faith. Or mistake. Eyes shut, because you really do care. Sensibility is on pause, for the sake of chance. In hopes that something deeper may be felt or found. Confussion, frustration, despair. A tear drop of doubt, Piercing to the core. Leaving an everlasting dimple in your heart's chambers. Of unrequited worth. Self doubt. Forgetting who you really are. So low, you're beneath yourself. Indignant time, of wasteful endevors. Injured. Believing you may never recover. Realizing you're tired of cycling back through this process. Hoping that the hurt will disappear. In time it usually does. And yet, you know ther...

Being the artistic person that I am...I'm sure many of you will not be surprised of my facination for painting and photography. While my mother was in the process she found two of my high school art water colors that I absolutley loved. Takes me back 9 years. But still fun to see. I always loved lanscapes. My mom threw away a lot of stuff in California in the process of moving to Utah, but somehow these two painting never made it to the trash. My mom said when she found them, after discarding my art works, she knew she would have to keep. They must have not made it to the trash for a reason. And honestly, I was quite surprised to see any of my high school art work still around. Lately, I've realized how much I love sunsets. So one day on my day off I drove around Orem, and Pleasant Grove taking pictures. My mom calls and asks me where I am and what I'm doing. "Ummm I'm just driving around to no where, taking pictures." LOL But truly, a picture really ...

Easter with the kids was awesome this year. I helped Chrysa and Orion find the phenominal silver and gold eggs. This was a cute little easter egg hunt at Ligia's place. Unfortunately Alex was gone doing sales during this time. But we had a blast anyways. Here's Grandpa-Pito-Pepe (my Dad) with the kids. This is shortly after having his stroke, while my Mom was in California in the process of moving to Utah. He was still having difficulty understanding what we were saying. So when I told him we were going Easter egg hunting, he thought I meant we were going out to eat eggs. Which in his mind was a treat, because since his stroke he was eating a very strict vegan diet at the time. I'm pretty sure he was confused why I was so desperate for eggs that morning. He later realized it was Easter weekend. :) Here I am with the my niece and nephew. After running around and scrambling to get all the cool easter eggs. I loved easter egg hunting so much. I can't wait for...

Time to catch up on my posts! :) The first thing I'll update my blog on is...my poetry. One thing I've come to realize...is that my poems are never deep truths of my heart. They're more like ambiguous turths of my realizations. I wish my poetry wasn't so rhymey, but I guess that's just me. I would like to work on writing deeper works that evoke thought and encapture my spirit. I will need to step out of my comfort zone. But for now, I can still enjoy my child like rhymes. Poetry is fun! I recommend it to everyone to try. Write about anything...anything that matters to you. This poem is more of my realization of the effect we can have on others with the gospel. By getting to know me, people often get to know who and what I believe in. Even at times I forget or feel that God is not really there. At least, the adversary would have me believe that. What a blessing it is when I can see the spirit of God in others, and it helps me when I am down, the same way I...

Yeah! That's right I'm back. I can't believe my last post was during Christmas??? Really. How did I let the time slip right by me. So much to say...but no time to say it all in. I've done some remodeling on my blog. Changed some stuff around that needed revamping. :) Well, life right now isn't so perfect. No boy in the picture, nope. The more time that goes by, I realize Justin (my first boyfriend) was more of a infatuation, something that I thought I wanted but not really. Do I want to get married? Yes! But to the right guy, at the right time. So maybe I should get to working on that. But you know what. Life is good. There are always going to be bills piling up, things to do, people to see. And I've come down to the realization that you just can't always have perfect order in everything. You work hard, try your best, invite the spirit of the Lord to be with you, and that is that. There really is no need to get depressed. Really the only ti...