It's amazing having moments of spiritual impact. I've found myself so busy with work lately, I rarely make quality time to spend with my friends or family. And when I have time, I find I spend more time with my friends rather than family. I guess it's easy to get, wrapped up with your friends when you're a single college student. But families are really quite special.
Since my father's stroke in March 2011, I've moved in at the end of July with my Mom and Dad, in a house in Pleasant Grove, UT. I also went to go pick my younger sister, Tiffany, up from BYU Idaho after completing her fist year of school in July. Then in the first week of August, my brother, Mauricio, returned home from his mission in McAllen, Texas. My older sister Ligia, who is married to Alex, with 3 kids of their own, Orion (4), Chrysa (3), and Hinckley (1), all live down the street from us. Literally 5 blocks from where we live. So here we are again, pretty much one big happy Velez/ Huntington Family, all in Pleasant Grove, UT.
What a blessing it has been. Granted I did down size after moving in. I now share a room with my little sister Tiffany. After living almost 9 years outside of my parents house on my own while at school, I've definitely accumulated a ton of personal things that every single college student needs. And here I am sharing a small sized room with my little sister. I mean, in order to fit, we got bunk beds. Luckily, Tiffany has the young adventurous heart to take the top bunk. Some days I come home so exhausted from work, I can't imagine climbing stairs up to our room, to then have to climb a latter into bed. I'm grateful for her kindness.
Really humbling experiences have touched me since moving in with my family. At the time, I realized my family would be moving so close to school at BYU and my work in Orem, I knew I would move in with them. Hesitant at first, because I like my own space and independence, I also knew my mother would need help moving and with my dad considering he was recovering from his stroke. This also meant, cheaper rent. My parents, I'm sure would have loved to have allowed me to stay in their home for free. But they were not in any position at the time, to do so. So we all sat down and discussed what expenses we would each need to cover, in order to meet everyone's needs.
I have learned the value of budgeting, and taking full responsibility for myself, more so when I moved in. Trying to set a good example for my brother and sister to follow. And realized that some of the best medicine for my father to get better from his illness, would be to just spend good quality time with him. Talking to him in Spanish.
While sitting at lunch with my father today at Costco for a cheap lunch and a happy stomach, I had a most interesting conversation. You would have to understand, that since my father's stroke, he has suffered from aphasia. Aphasia, is pretty much a person's inability to properly communicate. The type of Aphasia my father has is, he can think clearly what he wants to say, but the wrong words at times come out of his mouth. My father's comprehension of people speaking is low. He seems to understand Spanish, more so, than English, even though he had mastered both Spanish and English prior to his Stroke. But he seems understand written word better than spoken word. For example, he is better able to understand a movie with subtitles, and has greater understanding if the subtitles are in Spanish.
So I'm talking to my father today. I speak to him in Spanish. My Spanish is not perfect, but I am able to speak decently, and can get my point across, but sometimes I struggle with certain words, because Spanish is my second language. Nonetheless, I ask my dad today.
"Since your stroke, do you remember your family now?"
In the beginning, my father couldn't remember anyone in the family right after his stroke. Then he started to remember his children one by one. But he had forgotten that his oldest daughter Ligia, had gotten married, and that she also had three children.
My father said, "I remember my family now. I did not remember the conversation's I've had with my newer family from the past. Alex (my brother-in-law) tells me I spoke to his parents at Ligia's wedding. But those are things I am told of. I don't remember my three grand children, but it's almost like I've had the opportunity to re-learn about them for the first time, and build those relationships."
I said, "I guess you don't have to know much about their history and birth, to love them."
He claims, "Yes. I love my grandchildren. They are truly special, and loving, and cute. And they have all loved me. The day I walked into Ligia's house, and the older two grandchildren ran up to me yelling, 'Grandpa!' I wanted so much to remember them. I've basically re-created a relationship with them. I am still their Grandpa."
As I spoke to my dad, I realized. He may never remember everything, but he does remember that he loves me completely. And he was able to express that clearly.
I also talked to him about recent things in my life. I feel as though recently I've been distancing myself from the church. I expressed to my father, that I know he may not remember, but last year I sold security door to door with my brother-in-law Alex. In that experience, I am always reminded of the greatest lesson of all that I've learned. The power of prayer, an experience I can never deny, that is so central to my testimony of the Gospel of Jesus Christ.
I told him, that while out in South Carolina knocking doors, I learned a lesson that I believe most missionaries learn in the field. In knocking doors, and searching for potential customers, I was faced with much adversity. I learned to face my fears of rejection, and the skill of perseverance. And there I was knocking doors, thinking, I bet this is how missionaries feel, except at least they have a companion to be there with them. How I had so many days, when I wanted to just sit on the curb and cry.
My dad explained, "In the mission many Elder's would come home early, and say there is no one to teach. No people want to hear the discussions. And then I would take them out, and say we must find people to teach, there are always people." And sure enough they would find someone to teach. My father said, this is how he got to be the district leader after only working in the mission for a few weeks, and went on to be the zone leader, and assistant to the President.
I explained him that I knew how that felt. "I realized out there that I needed to pray. And in my nightly and morning prayers, and in my daily scripture study, I would seek for guidance and help. There came a night where I was desperate working 5 days in a row without getting into one house, and I cried to the Lord in prayer, 'That I needed his help, and that I was going to do everything I could to be successful with my sales, or die trying.' That I knew that the Lord was going to help me if it was his will. And sure enough, the next day I went out working with a humble and tired heart, I needed to try and work my hardest. And sold 4 Security Systems in one day. Up until that day, my best week was selling for 4 accounts in one week. I matched my best week, in one day. I knew then, this was an act of God, and the result of great faith. I knew God was real. Even more so, I knew that I had so many people praying for me, that to sit on the side of a curb and give up, would mean I would not be practicing faith. That in order for my prayers, and the prayers of my family and friend's to work, was if I did my part. That I needed to keep knocking doors even when I was tired in order to make more sales. That the Lord would prepare the ears of people I came across, to hear my message. So I kept knocking. Knocking in faith. That even when you're exhausted, you cannot be blessed unless you continue to do your part."
My father then told me, "Something I had not remembered until just now. I remember you were in tears on the phone. And I remember you asked me to pray for you on the phone for comfort. And that I would pray for you on the phone, and we would pray together."
I sat there in awe. My father recalled something, even in his post stroke condition. Something I didn't even remember. Something so sacred. And with such humility I remembered those troubled nights on the phone I had, with my dad.
My dad may not remember every detail of his life before the stroke. But you know what, every day he gets a little better. And he seems to remember everything that matters. And he is re-learning things again, and willing to teach himself all over again. And his attitude is so humble and willing to endure.
He explained one more scenario for me that will always stand out to me. He told me, that he believes that his memories will come back in time. He described a most sacred dream he had of his father. My grandfather, Nestor, but I call him "Tetito." My grandfather was standing tall holding the hand of my youngest nephew, Hinckley. My grandfather was in a wheelchair his entire life that I knew him, but interestingly, my father remembers him, standing prior to his tumor. But in the dream, Nestor, tells my dad, "Remember Hinckley, remember him. He is so pure and kind. And remember that your Heavenly Father and Lord truly love you. Remember these things, and never forget it."
It occurs to me how special this dream must be for my father. Especially because, he must feel like giving up on his life work, because he has been forced to re-learn everything when it comes to speaking. Many times he is in the middle of family conversations at the dinner table and doesn't understand even half of what we are saying. But he keeps trying.
I told my father in Spanish, "I never thought the day would come that I would be needing to speak to my father in Spanish. As a child, my parents both worked full time, and would leave me in the care of both my grandparents, always telling me that I needed to practice my Spanish with my grandparents to communicate with them in their native language. And here I was at lunch now, speaking to the only language my father can really understand."
We prepare in every way for eternity. If everything happens for a reason, which I believe it does. Then speaking Spanish as a child, was to help prepare me to have a conversation with my father in my adulthood, after he was to have aphasia. My education in dance, was preparing me to work with young children, and now I work at as a Recreation Director with Developmentally Disabled men that have the mental capabilities of 10 month-2 year olds. My mother has employment at a facility that I work at, that she would have never known about, if I hadn't already been working there. Something as simple as speaking Spanish, is one of those simple talents, that I have that I never realized I had before.
Because not only am I able to communicate to a limited number of Americans, but that I can share my testimony with others, in Spanish. To my father. And maybe even to strangers in a distant land in Spanish.
I can't really predict the future, or what the Lord holds for me. But I like to think that after I complete my education at BYU in the upcoming year. The thought of going on a mission for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, brightens my heart with great joy. For I have such a huge testimony of the Gospel, and the eternal happiness it can bring.
And to think, this entire conversation with my father, was in Spanish...I'm so truly blessed. And I wanted to share these things today in written word, so that I would never forget them.
I told my father, "He was very smart, and mom was very smart, to encourage me to educate myself in Spanish. Otherwise I would not be able to have this special moment communicating with him today."
Ecclesiastes 3:1-8
1 To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven
2 A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted
3 A time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up;
4 A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance;
5 A time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;
6 A time to get, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away;
7 A time to rend, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;
8 A time to love, and a time to hate; a time of war, and a time of peace.
Since my father's stroke in March 2011, I've moved in at the end of July with my Mom and Dad, in a house in Pleasant Grove, UT. I also went to go pick my younger sister, Tiffany, up from BYU Idaho after completing her fist year of school in July. Then in the first week of August, my brother, Mauricio, returned home from his mission in McAllen, Texas. My older sister Ligia, who is married to Alex, with 3 kids of their own, Orion (4), Chrysa (3), and Hinckley (1), all live down the street from us. Literally 5 blocks from where we live. So here we are again, pretty much one big happy Velez/ Huntington Family, all in Pleasant Grove, UT.
What a blessing it has been. Granted I did down size after moving in. I now share a room with my little sister Tiffany. After living almost 9 years outside of my parents house on my own while at school, I've definitely accumulated a ton of personal things that every single college student needs. And here I am sharing a small sized room with my little sister. I mean, in order to fit, we got bunk beds. Luckily, Tiffany has the young adventurous heart to take the top bunk. Some days I come home so exhausted from work, I can't imagine climbing stairs up to our room, to then have to climb a latter into bed. I'm grateful for her kindness.
Really humbling experiences have touched me since moving in with my family. At the time, I realized my family would be moving so close to school at BYU and my work in Orem, I knew I would move in with them. Hesitant at first, because I like my own space and independence, I also knew my mother would need help moving and with my dad considering he was recovering from his stroke. This also meant, cheaper rent. My parents, I'm sure would have loved to have allowed me to stay in their home for free. But they were not in any position at the time, to do so. So we all sat down and discussed what expenses we would each need to cover, in order to meet everyone's needs.
I have learned the value of budgeting, and taking full responsibility for myself, more so when I moved in. Trying to set a good example for my brother and sister to follow. And realized that some of the best medicine for my father to get better from his illness, would be to just spend good quality time with him. Talking to him in Spanish.
While sitting at lunch with my father today at Costco for a cheap lunch and a happy stomach, I had a most interesting conversation. You would have to understand, that since my father's stroke, he has suffered from aphasia. Aphasia, is pretty much a person's inability to properly communicate. The type of Aphasia my father has is, he can think clearly what he wants to say, but the wrong words at times come out of his mouth. My father's comprehension of people speaking is low. He seems to understand Spanish, more so, than English, even though he had mastered both Spanish and English prior to his Stroke. But he seems understand written word better than spoken word. For example, he is better able to understand a movie with subtitles, and has greater understanding if the subtitles are in Spanish.
So I'm talking to my father today. I speak to him in Spanish. My Spanish is not perfect, but I am able to speak decently, and can get my point across, but sometimes I struggle with certain words, because Spanish is my second language. Nonetheless, I ask my dad today.
"Since your stroke, do you remember your family now?"
In the beginning, my father couldn't remember anyone in the family right after his stroke. Then he started to remember his children one by one. But he had forgotten that his oldest daughter Ligia, had gotten married, and that she also had three children.
My father said, "I remember my family now. I did not remember the conversation's I've had with my newer family from the past. Alex (my brother-in-law) tells me I spoke to his parents at Ligia's wedding. But those are things I am told of. I don't remember my three grand children, but it's almost like I've had the opportunity to re-learn about them for the first time, and build those relationships."
I said, "I guess you don't have to know much about their history and birth, to love them."
He claims, "Yes. I love my grandchildren. They are truly special, and loving, and cute. And they have all loved me. The day I walked into Ligia's house, and the older two grandchildren ran up to me yelling, 'Grandpa!' I wanted so much to remember them. I've basically re-created a relationship with them. I am still their Grandpa."
As I spoke to my dad, I realized. He may never remember everything, but he does remember that he loves me completely. And he was able to express that clearly.
I also talked to him about recent things in my life. I feel as though recently I've been distancing myself from the church. I expressed to my father, that I know he may not remember, but last year I sold security door to door with my brother-in-law Alex. In that experience, I am always reminded of the greatest lesson of all that I've learned. The power of prayer, an experience I can never deny, that is so central to my testimony of the Gospel of Jesus Christ.
I told him, that while out in South Carolina knocking doors, I learned a lesson that I believe most missionaries learn in the field. In knocking doors, and searching for potential customers, I was faced with much adversity. I learned to face my fears of rejection, and the skill of perseverance. And there I was knocking doors, thinking, I bet this is how missionaries feel, except at least they have a companion to be there with them. How I had so many days, when I wanted to just sit on the curb and cry.
My dad explained, "In the mission many Elder's would come home early, and say there is no one to teach. No people want to hear the discussions. And then I would take them out, and say we must find people to teach, there are always people." And sure enough they would find someone to teach. My father said, this is how he got to be the district leader after only working in the mission for a few weeks, and went on to be the zone leader, and assistant to the President.
I explained him that I knew how that felt. "I realized out there that I needed to pray. And in my nightly and morning prayers, and in my daily scripture study, I would seek for guidance and help. There came a night where I was desperate working 5 days in a row without getting into one house, and I cried to the Lord in prayer, 'That I needed his help, and that I was going to do everything I could to be successful with my sales, or die trying.' That I knew that the Lord was going to help me if it was his will. And sure enough, the next day I went out working with a humble and tired heart, I needed to try and work my hardest. And sold 4 Security Systems in one day. Up until that day, my best week was selling for 4 accounts in one week. I matched my best week, in one day. I knew then, this was an act of God, and the result of great faith. I knew God was real. Even more so, I knew that I had so many people praying for me, that to sit on the side of a curb and give up, would mean I would not be practicing faith. That in order for my prayers, and the prayers of my family and friend's to work, was if I did my part. That I needed to keep knocking doors even when I was tired in order to make more sales. That the Lord would prepare the ears of people I came across, to hear my message. So I kept knocking. Knocking in faith. That even when you're exhausted, you cannot be blessed unless you continue to do your part."
My father then told me, "Something I had not remembered until just now. I remember you were in tears on the phone. And I remember you asked me to pray for you on the phone for comfort. And that I would pray for you on the phone, and we would pray together."
I sat there in awe. My father recalled something, even in his post stroke condition. Something I didn't even remember. Something so sacred. And with such humility I remembered those troubled nights on the phone I had, with my dad.
My dad may not remember every detail of his life before the stroke. But you know what, every day he gets a little better. And he seems to remember everything that matters. And he is re-learning things again, and willing to teach himself all over again. And his attitude is so humble and willing to endure.
He explained one more scenario for me that will always stand out to me. He told me, that he believes that his memories will come back in time. He described a most sacred dream he had of his father. My grandfather, Nestor, but I call him "Tetito." My grandfather was standing tall holding the hand of my youngest nephew, Hinckley. My grandfather was in a wheelchair his entire life that I knew him, but interestingly, my father remembers him, standing prior to his tumor. But in the dream, Nestor, tells my dad, "Remember Hinckley, remember him. He is so pure and kind. And remember that your Heavenly Father and Lord truly love you. Remember these things, and never forget it."
It occurs to me how special this dream must be for my father. Especially because, he must feel like giving up on his life work, because he has been forced to re-learn everything when it comes to speaking. Many times he is in the middle of family conversations at the dinner table and doesn't understand even half of what we are saying. But he keeps trying.
I told my father in Spanish, "I never thought the day would come that I would be needing to speak to my father in Spanish. As a child, my parents both worked full time, and would leave me in the care of both my grandparents, always telling me that I needed to practice my Spanish with my grandparents to communicate with them in their native language. And here I was at lunch now, speaking to the only language my father can really understand."
We prepare in every way for eternity. If everything happens for a reason, which I believe it does. Then speaking Spanish as a child, was to help prepare me to have a conversation with my father in my adulthood, after he was to have aphasia. My education in dance, was preparing me to work with young children, and now I work at as a Recreation Director with Developmentally Disabled men that have the mental capabilities of 10 month-2 year olds. My mother has employment at a facility that I work at, that she would have never known about, if I hadn't already been working there. Something as simple as speaking Spanish, is one of those simple talents, that I have that I never realized I had before.
Because not only am I able to communicate to a limited number of Americans, but that I can share my testimony with others, in Spanish. To my father. And maybe even to strangers in a distant land in Spanish.
I can't really predict the future, or what the Lord holds for me. But I like to think that after I complete my education at BYU in the upcoming year. The thought of going on a mission for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, brightens my heart with great joy. For I have such a huge testimony of the Gospel, and the eternal happiness it can bring.
And to think, this entire conversation with my father, was in Spanish...I'm so truly blessed. And I wanted to share these things today in written word, so that I would never forget them.
I told my father, "He was very smart, and mom was very smart, to encourage me to educate myself in Spanish. Otherwise I would not be able to have this special moment communicating with him today."
Ecclesiastes 3:1-8
1 To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven
2 A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted
3 A time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up;
4 A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance;
5 A time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;
6 A time to get, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away;
7 A time to rend, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;
8 A time to love, and a time to hate; a time of war, and a time of peace.
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