I woke up this morning. Everything was as it should be, life was absolutely perfect with it's imperfections, and I was completely content. I began my morning brushing my teeth, reflecting on what had occurred the night before. I sat in my room, on my little spot clearing among a disastrous mess that I was trying to clean up, and after speaking on the phone with my mother, I decided to go to a corner of my room. I kneeled down to pray, and out loud I gave a long sincere prayer of thanks to my Heavenly Father.
It's amazing how long we can go doing things incorrectly, even though we already know what we should be doing and that it will help us of we practice obedience. The Law of Tithing is one of those great commandments I struggle with. I could perhaps say that my parents didn't really ingrain this law in my head well enough, but I never had to deal with this type of responsibility until I moved out of the home. So I must face reality, and know that the responsibility of learning this commandment came after I moved away from my parents.
Where is the faith from the faithful members of the church? Where is the faith in the children of God? Why do I ever doubt, that the Lord's way is difficult, and that I wont have enough if I give him 10%? It's weird. But it's human, and perfectly normal to doubt.
Recently, I made one of the biggest, most exciting, and also scariest decisions I have ever made. I'll be moving to South Carolina for work. But for once in my life I know I'm doing things with the guidance of my Heavenly Father. Once I made the decision to do summer sales, I felt a load of relief and stress lifted off of my shoulders instantly. My brother-in-law Alex, and my Sister Ligia, would just keep telling me, "Just make the decision, that you've already made." And I would laugh, "But I haven't made a decision yet." But they knew before me, that it would be a good change in my life. Perhaps they knew, because they were already close to the Lord, in ways I was not close to Him.
One of my biggest fears has been, how will go? How will I ever be able to pack my bags and move to the East Coast? Where will I get the money to do this great move to South Carolina? I mean come on. A Cali girl, in South Carolina? I would never have dreamed of such a picture. Haha.
One thing I spoke with my Bishop before Christmas break, was that I needed to start paying tithing. I hadn't been paying for a while. And he said that I was not allowing the Lord to bless me. I already knew this, and I knew that I was not allowing myself to be helped, but I still had not made the necessary change in my life.
When I got back from California after Christmas Break, I found that all my finances had been spent. It took me two entire months before I was caught up on most of my demanding bills. I promised myself, because of this great commandment of Tithe that I was not following, I would need to catch up, and do my part on the next paycheck I received. The Lord was already blessing me with relief in the decision I had made, and in my great calling as the Friendship Council Chair in my ward, that catching up on my tithing for the year was a priority, particularly because I knew I would need the blessings for my big move coming up at the end of March.
I did the math, and what I owed was $185, in tithing. Now, for any genius out there, $185, really doesn't seem like a lot of money. But for someone behind on their bills, and looking make a move that I'm not even financially ready to make right now, that's a lot of money.
I looked at my finances, and realized it would leave me with a little less than $40 left until my next pay check came through. And even then, most of that paycheck would go to the apartment rent for March. And thinking with common sense, most of that money would go to gas for my car, and I am running really low on groceries right now. So I was skeptical.
The child inside of me would normally turn to my mother for help. Whenever I fall short in my expenses, my parents have always been kind and willing to help me so that I wouldn't have to struggle or "fast" (as in not eat very much). But with family trials at this time, money is very tight. It hurts me to even think of asking my mother for anything. With my dad not working, my younger brother on a mission, and my little sister still in her last year of high school. I cannot even think to turn to my mother for help.
But I made my promise to the Lord, I was determined to pay all of my tithing for the year of 2010. I didn't know how everything would pan out at the time. But I moved forward completely committed to the Law of Tithe, with faith. I told myself, "I don't care. I will figure it out later. This money is the Lord's money. And He will help me find the way and figure it out...at a later time."
I pulled out my check book and wrote a check for the amount of $185.92. I placed the check in the correct tithing envelope. I pulled out the slip, and filled out my tithing slip as needed, ripped apart the yellow copy for my safe keeping in my drawer, and slid the white copy in the gray envelope as well. I sealed it shut, wrote my name on the front. And placed it at the front of my desk drawer, with the promise that it would be the first thing I handed my Bishop on Sunday.
An hour later or so, I was compelled to walk over to my old apartment, BDA #17, that I lived in last year. Many months ago, I asked my old roommate Rachael, who still lives there, to send me the information of the new management. I had never been reimbursed anything from my housing deposit, and according to BYU Housing, the owners are required to at least tell me what they spent my deposit on if the cost of damages and other things were used by my deposit. I was a little hurt that I never heard back from them, I knew that I would need to communicate with them before I left town.
I walked over and received the new management information, Rachael was also kind to collect extra mail that was sent to that address belonging to me. It wasn't until hours later when I was home, that I began to look through that pile of mail. I saw bills, Student Loan bills, and junk mail, etc. I was sitting in my one clear spot of carpet on the floor. I came across a plain envelope. "What is this?" I thought to myself.
I opened it carefully, a letter from the owners of BDA, and a check. The check was for $170. Not my full deposit. They collected a $60 non-refundable fee, and collected an additional fine of $120, for so called "lack of cleaning and damages." But I'm not about to begin to start fighting for that money, which they do owe me because I did my cleaning, however, that's an entirely different story.
I looked over the check and began to think. I pondered by what odds I would find my missing check of money that I thought I lost many months ago when I didn't hear back from the owners. Lost money, in my mind, lost cause also. I began to weep. I knew the Lord was present. He knew my concern. It was the second that I decided to pay my tithing with complete faith, and trust Him, that he blessed me. He told me, go for a walk, go for a drive, go get your address and information, and pick up your mail.
Was it coincidence? No. A miracle? In some ways yes. But it was more an act of God. Many of us pay tithing because we know that we will receive some type of blessing. We usually expect spiritual blessings. Few us actually ever receive the blessings back in hard cold cash. But there it was. A check of money that would cover nearly the cost of what I owed in tithing. I cried. I cried tears of joy, because more clearly than I have ever believed, I knew that the Lord loved me. I knew that he could hear the prayers of my heart. And I felt my testimony of Him evolve and grow further.
Sometimes I complain on Sundays going to church meetings straight from 8:45am-6:30pm, non-stop. I didn't even have time to eat dinner this past Sunday. I was eating left overs in front of the Bishop in my Bishop's interview, and had to apologize for my lack of professionalism. But at the end of a long Sabbath day, I feel complete, and feel accomplished. It's doing the simple things, following the commandments where our joy in life begins.
With my priorities in order, I'm very much a happily healed person right now. I'm on the way up. I cannot complain at all. Life is great when we put the church as our priority, the gospel should always be first in our lives. For so long I put the gospel last in my life, and I struggled each day, and found my self in a bit of a rut...in depression. It was "work, school and then church." But I testify that when we put church first, we will feel joy and peace in our lives. Church should always be first. School should have been second, because the only reason I'm even in Utah is for school, and work comes in last, because it is what helps me achieve my goals financially.
This semester I got it right. I put church first, I made some changes, and instantly have felt the dramatic change of spirit in my heart. I feel the Lord's love for me in my calling, and in the members that I serve with on my council. I went from knowing maybe a handful of people, to getting to know the entire ward on a personal level, and have began to love each individual in the ward as well. I am so blessed with friends, and great roommates that I love and cherish. And even though I don't deserve the Lord's blessings, he still provides a way for me to accomplish the things that need to be accomplished.
For the first time in my life I am beginning to live up to my potential. Not just hear about the potential that everyone believes that I have, but I recognize it. I believe that I am beautiful, and talented. I know how to access my talents to touch people's lives, and am able to feel the hand of God in everything I do.
After "coasting" through a semester in church, I now have an active role and membership in the church, and I'm so happy and blessed in all the spheres of my life. I'm not just a follower, but I am a leader, and am able to teach others how to lead.
It must be said that for a long time I have not done the things that I know I should be doing. I don't pray nightly before bed, I don't pray in the mornnings when I arise from sleep. I don't read my scriptures daily, I'm lucky if I even read them monthly. I don't go to the temple often. I can't even remember the last time I went to the temple. I think it may have been for the Oquirrh Mountain Temple open house, and that was in August of last year. So who knows how long before that I went? I think it might have been in the beginning of the summer, while doing temple work for my friend Jake's ancestors, in which he needed a girl to do the work for baptisms, confirmations, and initiatories.
For a girl who lives the gospel mostly through the spirit, and revelation, I have been very blessed indeed. To still have the constant companion of the Holy Ghost to guide me. It was more than I deserved. But I know that the Atonement is real, and I know both God and Jesus Christ are real.
I cry every time I share the story of this experience with my mother, my sister, my friend at work, my visiting teachee, my roommates, and my brother-in-law, and I get teary eyed as I write this. But it is my testament that I know God is real, and that He loves me.
I woke up this morning and labeled my facebook status as:
I know he's there because I feel Him...like a gust of wind, sun shining down on my skin, or the raindrops and snowflakes that fall on my face. He is all around, and never forgets me. He's there every morning I wake, and every night I sleep. Hears my prayers, brings joy to my life, and loves me like any Father would love their child. As real as night and day, and unlike most things in life, He is constant...
It's not about giving God money, it's a law of obedience. It's a law teaches faith. Why would I ever doubt, what I am told are commandments of God? I know that at times it's not ever easy to give up 10%, but it's not about giving up 10% of my income. It's about practicing faith, it's about practicing obedience, and humility, and reaching to the Lord for help. He so wants to help us, but do we always listen? Do we allow Him to be a part of our lives? Do we allow Him to comfort us and help?
If we only truly knew the love of the Lord and our dear Great Heavenly Father, we would NEVER doubt.
I got ready for bed, and read my Patriarchal blessing. I prepared for bed, and before I collapsed into sleep. I said a prayer. For the first time after many months of not praying, I prayed. I prayed with deep gratitude, and love. I thanked the Lord for everything I could think of. I asked the Lord to watch over the people that I love, that are struggling, or that need blessings. And I poured my heart and soul into my prayer, as I knelt in my bed. It was a long prayer, but I clearly communicated every thought that needed to be expressed. Everything that I had not reported to the Lord, that needed be said. And I slept well.
I share these experiences and record, because I know one day, when I am weak, these words will keep me strong. This story will remind me of my Faith, and the Lord's promise. I know that I will not be strong everyday, like I am today, but I will always be able to look back to this day. In these words, perhaps maybe I can help someone who feels weak in the gospel, someone just like me. I pray that we may all have a sacred testimony of Tithing, and not be afraid to share it with members and non-members of the gospel.
The Law of Tithing is not really about money. The Lord doesn't need money. It's really the Law that teaches us Faith. And I share these words from my heart. In the name of my beloved Savior Jesus Christ, Amen.
Here's a funny cartoon I found on Tithing online. Enjoy the humor behind this.
Much love!
-Gio
It's amazing how long we can go doing things incorrectly, even though we already know what we should be doing and that it will help us of we practice obedience. The Law of Tithing is one of those great commandments I struggle with. I could perhaps say that my parents didn't really ingrain this law in my head well enough, but I never had to deal with this type of responsibility until I moved out of the home. So I must face reality, and know that the responsibility of learning this commandment came after I moved away from my parents.
Where is the faith from the faithful members of the church? Where is the faith in the children of God? Why do I ever doubt, that the Lord's way is difficult, and that I wont have enough if I give him 10%? It's weird. But it's human, and perfectly normal to doubt.
Recently, I made one of the biggest, most exciting, and also scariest decisions I have ever made. I'll be moving to South Carolina for work. But for once in my life I know I'm doing things with the guidance of my Heavenly Father. Once I made the decision to do summer sales, I felt a load of relief and stress lifted off of my shoulders instantly. My brother-in-law Alex, and my Sister Ligia, would just keep telling me, "Just make the decision, that you've already made." And I would laugh, "But I haven't made a decision yet." But they knew before me, that it would be a good change in my life. Perhaps they knew, because they were already close to the Lord, in ways I was not close to Him.
One of my biggest fears has been, how will go? How will I ever be able to pack my bags and move to the East Coast? Where will I get the money to do this great move to South Carolina? I mean come on. A Cali girl, in South Carolina? I would never have dreamed of such a picture. Haha.
One thing I spoke with my Bishop before Christmas break, was that I needed to start paying tithing. I hadn't been paying for a while. And he said that I was not allowing the Lord to bless me. I already knew this, and I knew that I was not allowing myself to be helped, but I still had not made the necessary change in my life.
When I got back from California after Christmas Break, I found that all my finances had been spent. It took me two entire months before I was caught up on most of my demanding bills. I promised myself, because of this great commandment of Tithe that I was not following, I would need to catch up, and do my part on the next paycheck I received. The Lord was already blessing me with relief in the decision I had made, and in my great calling as the Friendship Council Chair in my ward, that catching up on my tithing for the year was a priority, particularly because I knew I would need the blessings for my big move coming up at the end of March.
I did the math, and what I owed was $185, in tithing. Now, for any genius out there, $185, really doesn't seem like a lot of money. But for someone behind on their bills, and looking make a move that I'm not even financially ready to make right now, that's a lot of money.
I looked at my finances, and realized it would leave me with a little less than $40 left until my next pay check came through. And even then, most of that paycheck would go to the apartment rent for March. And thinking with common sense, most of that money would go to gas for my car, and I am running really low on groceries right now. So I was skeptical.
The child inside of me would normally turn to my mother for help. Whenever I fall short in my expenses, my parents have always been kind and willing to help me so that I wouldn't have to struggle or "fast" (as in not eat very much). But with family trials at this time, money is very tight. It hurts me to even think of asking my mother for anything. With my dad not working, my younger brother on a mission, and my little sister still in her last year of high school. I cannot even think to turn to my mother for help.
But I made my promise to the Lord, I was determined to pay all of my tithing for the year of 2010. I didn't know how everything would pan out at the time. But I moved forward completely committed to the Law of Tithe, with faith. I told myself, "I don't care. I will figure it out later. This money is the Lord's money. And He will help me find the way and figure it out...at a later time."
I pulled out my check book and wrote a check for the amount of $185.92. I placed the check in the correct tithing envelope. I pulled out the slip, and filled out my tithing slip as needed, ripped apart the yellow copy for my safe keeping in my drawer, and slid the white copy in the gray envelope as well. I sealed it shut, wrote my name on the front. And placed it at the front of my desk drawer, with the promise that it would be the first thing I handed my Bishop on Sunday.
An hour later or so, I was compelled to walk over to my old apartment, BDA #17, that I lived in last year. Many months ago, I asked my old roommate Rachael, who still lives there, to send me the information of the new management. I had never been reimbursed anything from my housing deposit, and according to BYU Housing, the owners are required to at least tell me what they spent my deposit on if the cost of damages and other things were used by my deposit. I was a little hurt that I never heard back from them, I knew that I would need to communicate with them before I left town.
I walked over and received the new management information, Rachael was also kind to collect extra mail that was sent to that address belonging to me. It wasn't until hours later when I was home, that I began to look through that pile of mail. I saw bills, Student Loan bills, and junk mail, etc. I was sitting in my one clear spot of carpet on the floor. I came across a plain envelope. "What is this?" I thought to myself.
I opened it carefully, a letter from the owners of BDA, and a check. The check was for $170. Not my full deposit. They collected a $60 non-refundable fee, and collected an additional fine of $120, for so called "lack of cleaning and damages." But I'm not about to begin to start fighting for that money, which they do owe me because I did my cleaning, however, that's an entirely different story.
I looked over the check and began to think. I pondered by what odds I would find my missing check of money that I thought I lost many months ago when I didn't hear back from the owners. Lost money, in my mind, lost cause also. I began to weep. I knew the Lord was present. He knew my concern. It was the second that I decided to pay my tithing with complete faith, and trust Him, that he blessed me. He told me, go for a walk, go for a drive, go get your address and information, and pick up your mail.
Was it coincidence? No. A miracle? In some ways yes. But it was more an act of God. Many of us pay tithing because we know that we will receive some type of blessing. We usually expect spiritual blessings. Few us actually ever receive the blessings back in hard cold cash. But there it was. A check of money that would cover nearly the cost of what I owed in tithing. I cried. I cried tears of joy, because more clearly than I have ever believed, I knew that the Lord loved me. I knew that he could hear the prayers of my heart. And I felt my testimony of Him evolve and grow further.
Sometimes I complain on Sundays going to church meetings straight from 8:45am-6:30pm, non-stop. I didn't even have time to eat dinner this past Sunday. I was eating left overs in front of the Bishop in my Bishop's interview, and had to apologize for my lack of professionalism. But at the end of a long Sabbath day, I feel complete, and feel accomplished. It's doing the simple things, following the commandments where our joy in life begins.
With my priorities in order, I'm very much a happily healed person right now. I'm on the way up. I cannot complain at all. Life is great when we put the church as our priority, the gospel should always be first in our lives. For so long I put the gospel last in my life, and I struggled each day, and found my self in a bit of a rut...in depression. It was "work, school and then church." But I testify that when we put church first, we will feel joy and peace in our lives. Church should always be first. School should have been second, because the only reason I'm even in Utah is for school, and work comes in last, because it is what helps me achieve my goals financially.
This semester I got it right. I put church first, I made some changes, and instantly have felt the dramatic change of spirit in my heart. I feel the Lord's love for me in my calling, and in the members that I serve with on my council. I went from knowing maybe a handful of people, to getting to know the entire ward on a personal level, and have began to love each individual in the ward as well. I am so blessed with friends, and great roommates that I love and cherish. And even though I don't deserve the Lord's blessings, he still provides a way for me to accomplish the things that need to be accomplished.
For the first time in my life I am beginning to live up to my potential. Not just hear about the potential that everyone believes that I have, but I recognize it. I believe that I am beautiful, and talented. I know how to access my talents to touch people's lives, and am able to feel the hand of God in everything I do.
After "coasting" through a semester in church, I now have an active role and membership in the church, and I'm so happy and blessed in all the spheres of my life. I'm not just a follower, but I am a leader, and am able to teach others how to lead.
It must be said that for a long time I have not done the things that I know I should be doing. I don't pray nightly before bed, I don't pray in the mornnings when I arise from sleep. I don't read my scriptures daily, I'm lucky if I even read them monthly. I don't go to the temple often. I can't even remember the last time I went to the temple. I think it may have been for the Oquirrh Mountain Temple open house, and that was in August of last year. So who knows how long before that I went? I think it might have been in the beginning of the summer, while doing temple work for my friend Jake's ancestors, in which he needed a girl to do the work for baptisms, confirmations, and initiatories.
For a girl who lives the gospel mostly through the spirit, and revelation, I have been very blessed indeed. To still have the constant companion of the Holy Ghost to guide me. It was more than I deserved. But I know that the Atonement is real, and I know both God and Jesus Christ are real.
I cry every time I share the story of this experience with my mother, my sister, my friend at work, my visiting teachee, my roommates, and my brother-in-law, and I get teary eyed as I write this. But it is my testament that I know God is real, and that He loves me.
I woke up this morning and labeled my facebook status as:
I know he's there because I feel Him...like a gust of wind, sun shining down on my skin, or the raindrops and snowflakes that fall on my face. He is all around, and never forgets me. He's there every morning I wake, and every night I sleep. Hears my prayers, brings joy to my life, and loves me like any Father would love their child. As real as night and day, and unlike most things in life, He is constant...
It's not about giving God money, it's a law of obedience. It's a law teaches faith. Why would I ever doubt, what I am told are commandments of God? I know that at times it's not ever easy to give up 10%, but it's not about giving up 10% of my income. It's about practicing faith, it's about practicing obedience, and humility, and reaching to the Lord for help. He so wants to help us, but do we always listen? Do we allow Him to be a part of our lives? Do we allow Him to comfort us and help?
If we only truly knew the love of the Lord and our dear Great Heavenly Father, we would NEVER doubt.
I got ready for bed, and read my Patriarchal blessing. I prepared for bed, and before I collapsed into sleep. I said a prayer. For the first time after many months of not praying, I prayed. I prayed with deep gratitude, and love. I thanked the Lord for everything I could think of. I asked the Lord to watch over the people that I love, that are struggling, or that need blessings. And I poured my heart and soul into my prayer, as I knelt in my bed. It was a long prayer, but I clearly communicated every thought that needed to be expressed. Everything that I had not reported to the Lord, that needed be said. And I slept well.
I share these experiences and record, because I know one day, when I am weak, these words will keep me strong. This story will remind me of my Faith, and the Lord's promise. I know that I will not be strong everyday, like I am today, but I will always be able to look back to this day. In these words, perhaps maybe I can help someone who feels weak in the gospel, someone just like me. I pray that we may all have a sacred testimony of Tithing, and not be afraid to share it with members and non-members of the gospel.
The Law of Tithing is not really about money. The Lord doesn't need money. It's really the Law that teaches us Faith. And I share these words from my heart. In the name of my beloved Savior Jesus Christ, Amen.
Here's a funny cartoon I found on Tithing online. Enjoy the humor behind this.
Much love!
-Gio
Comments
I appreciate hearing your thoughts, as always. I am so happy for you and how things are going in your life!
Call me soon when you have a minute! I want to talk to you!